I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
