Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
