Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
third nipple confirmed
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
