Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
