ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
