the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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