I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
