he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
