So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
