I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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