hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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