not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Let's get the cat blown out
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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