just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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