im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
