Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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