If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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