I think im going to throw up on grandma
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
