ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
