Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
