i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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