Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
