"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
