..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
