My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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