you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
