Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize