I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
