so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
