Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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