Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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