We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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