i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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