It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
