Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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