I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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