I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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