My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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