So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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