Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
