I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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