I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
