You made me cry and you don't even care
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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