So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
