Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
