Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
