Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
