help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
