We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Someone came in the potted fern
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize