Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
