At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
