Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
