Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
