I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
