I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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