got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
