Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
