I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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